Great news! My arm is feeling much better! Thank you for your prayers!
Also, more great news! Catholic Word is the new distributor of my book The Day I Died: Finding Hope in Suffering. Book stores as well as anyone can now purchase my book from their site! Here’s the direct link! Please help spread the word! Christmas is coming up and it would be a great time to support Catholic authors by giving your friends and family the gift of inspiration! Catholic Word is home to many great authors. Check them out! www.CatholicWord.com.
Below is my latest blog.
Through the sliding-glass door stood my four-year-old son holding a small yellow flower in one hand while anxiously knocking to get my attention. I opened the door and he said, “Momma, I picked this for you.” “Oh thank you,” I replied with a tear in my eye. “Thank you for thinking of me. I love you so much!” I said as I knelt to hug him tight. Once again he melted my heart!
This happened just a few days ago on his fourth birthday. Four years ago, I became a mother. It is a gift I don’t take for granted and one that I treasure more than anything. I remember when the doctor told me I was going to have a son. I cried in fear. I know that sounds crazy, but I cried and my husband said, “What’s wrong?” Through tears in the doctor’s office, I said, “Boys leave their moms.” “What?” my husband responded in confusion. I said, “Boys are more likely to move away from their families.” Doug tried to console me as he tried to assure me, “No, they don’t.” I said, “You left your family and moved to Arizona, and my dad left his family in Minnesota to move here.” Doug began to see my point. I must also tell you I was pregnant, hormonal and overly sensitive at the time, but really deep down what I feared was that I would only have this human being I had grown to love—under my roof for 18 years. After that, he would be free to leave.
It also didn’t help a few months ago when I was at a party and a son (age 36) surprised his mom in front of all of us and she said, “It is so good to see you. I miss you so much! Can’t you move back to Arizona?” The son smirked and smiled, “You know the old saying mom, ‘A son is a son until he finds a wife, but a daughter is yours for life.’” This didn’t make that mom feel any better, and it surely confirmed what I already feel about boys leaving their mommas!
My fear, as silly as it sounds, only presents itself from something deep and profound: I love my son and love to see his face, feel his hugs and kisses, and hear is sweet little voice every day.
Because of what I do, I find myself in the company of many intriguing and interesting people where I often enjoy great conversation, but none compare to conversations I have with my boy. I hang on his every word! His imagination entertains me like no other!
Over the past four years of watching him grow into the independent, strong-willed, intelligent, kind-hearted, talented, wonderful, little human being that he has become in just a short time, my heart still aches for the day he will no longer be standing knocking at the sliding-glass door with flower in hand and ready for a hug.
Parents always say, “It goes by so fast.” And, I am seeing him grow up so fast. I blink and he matures more, grows a shoe or pant size, and learns to speak to me more like a little adult. Day by day he needs me less.
I know that is how it is supposed to be, but my motherly heart still longs for him to need me. So when the occasional times during the day when he asks me to help him to draw something or to tie his shoes, I do it with pride and excitement knowing it’s an opportunity to be close to him.
A mother I know used to say to her daughter, “God knew you were the perfect girl for me.” When the mother shared this with me, I decided to borrow her wisdom, and so if you ask Brady, “What did God know?” He will proudly answer, “That I would be the perfect boy for my momma.” It’s true!
Sometimes I find him to be a challenge when he is disobedient or disrespectful with his words. Some days are extremely hard to be his mom as I try to balance discipline, but regardless, he is always the perfect boy for me even when he’s not acting so perfect!
Brady has made me a better person! He challenges me to grow everyday in patience, understanding and love. He challenges me to be more creative and to be a better example of Christ. He has expanded my heart in ways I never thought possible. He has taught me to love beyond measure even when I’m tired or fed up.
As Christmas approaches, I think about Mary becoming a mother and realizing that she has the greatest gift resting in her arms…her precious son. As this Christmas approaches, there is nothing I need…nothing. I have the greatest, most treasured gift I could ever ask for…my children to hold tight in my arms. It is a gift that will, year after year, make me feel complete and make me ever more grateful to be alive!
This Christmas, who are the greatest, most treasured gifts in your lives? The special people that no present could ever match? How will you let them know the gift they are to you?